Confessions Of A Yaoi Addict
by RheizeL
Summary: My names's Rukia Kuchiki. And I'm a Yaoi addict. Yep. You read that right. I'm a certified true Yaoi addict.


**Disclaimer: Bleach and the characters that was used in this Fanfic were not mine. **

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**Confessions Of A Yaoi Addict**

~Rukia Kuchiki

* * *

"You'll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in."  
― Mandy Hale, _The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass_

* * *

_…_

_Sigh._

Another fucking _cliff hanger._

Sometimes, I just wanna go and visit those writer's houses and ask them what will happen next.

But of course that's impossible. And that's making me anxious right now.

_Fuck! I really wanna read the next chapter!_

_Sighs._

Crap. I forgot to introduce myself.

My names's Rukia Kuchiki. And I'm a Yaoi addict.

Yep. You read that right. I'm a certified true Yaoi addict.

It might sound gross, but what the hell? I love it. I feel hot every time I read good fan fictions about my favorite anime characters. Hell, I think I can even get off by reading yaoi mangas.

It's just, so… I don't know. I can't explain it.

My addiction started 2 years ago. Yes, it's not so long ago. But it feels like it's been forever.

I got to live with a gay friend in a dormitory. And that's when it all started.

He showed me videos. _Lots of them._

I can't understand why he liked those kinds of things at first.

But then, after a few more days, I started asking for it.

Every day, I watch hot men get off with each other. It's so fucking, sexy.

Then I wondered. Are there any animated videos like these?

He said yeah, but just a few.

I saw some of them. And _Sensitive Pornograph. _Is the best. (Unsensored)

I remembered asking myself why the fuck are they not funding these videos?!

Haha.

Then I watched_ Boku no Pico, _and _Shounen Maid Kuro-kun… _But I'm not really in to _Shotacon _so I stopped looking for it.

Next is the Mangas.

Mangas are great. Fuck, great is an understatement. All of the things that videos lack, Mangas makes up for them. Including the part where it's less censored compared to Animes. But the problem is, they lack the pairing that I was always looking for.

_Sighs._

And then I discovered the world of Fan Fiction.

Damn. Is all that I can say.

All kinds of yaois are here. Specially my favorites which made me the happiest person in the whole wide world. And the best part is that you get to use your own imagination while reading such good yaoi stories.

It's like my very own paradise.

_Grins._

_"Oi! Rukia!"_

I turned my head to see Tatsuki ran towards my direction. I smiled at her as she sat beside me.

_"I just finished reading the one that you gave me this morning, and it's so fucking hot."_

I chuckled.

_"I know right?"_

Tatsuki grinned at me as she continued talking animatedly about the fan fiction link that I gave her.

She's my best friend.

I mean, she did not judged me when I told her that I'm in to this kind of thing. She even gave it a try. And now, she's as addicted as I am. She's just the best, best friend there is for me.

_"So, what are you reading right now?"_

She asked as we walk slowly towards the exit of our university. We are now on our 3rd year of college, taking up Mass Communication. One more year to go! Gosh, I suddenly felt so excited.

_"Umm, it's a Bleach fanfic. It's about Grimmjow and Ichigo. It's not finished yet, but it's really good so I'm kinda waiting for it."_

_"Shit. Grimmjow and Ichigo? Damn, those two are just so hot."_

_"I know right."_

_"Yeah, it's like Grimmjow was made to dominate Ichigo in every single way."_

_"Yesh.."_

We stopped walking and looked at each other. Our eyes glittered, then, out of nowhere, we started laughing.

I know that people are looking at us right now, thinking that maybe we're crazy. But I just don't care. Tatsuki really is the best.

…

**XXXXOOOXXXX**

…

You guys are probably thinking that maybe, the reason why I'm so in to this kind of thing is because I don't have a boyfriend. Well, I'm telling you people. You're all wrong.

I do have a _boyfriend._

_*giggles*_

_"Oi, Rukia."_

I could almost hear his grin from his voice. _Damn._ I think, I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world.

_"You're reading again."_

I frowned as I closed the browser on my laptop and waited for him.

_"You already know the answer to that, Renji."_

He hugged me from behind, kissing the base of my nape, and making the hair all over my body raise.

I smiled and stood up from my study table, facing him as I clung both of my arms around his neck.

_Gosh, _why is he so tall?

I saw him grinned as he raised his right eyebrow in question.

Well, I never initiate body contacts on my own, _unless_, I just finished reading a good sexy scene online.

I smiled once more, looking straight to his eyes.

_"Let me guess, your favorite writer just made Ichigo and Grimmjow have sex with each other again, right?"_

My smile turned in to a grin.

_"You knew me well."_

He frowned.

_"That's so fucking gross Rukia."_

He ducked to free himself from my arms and walked towards my bed, sitting down with his eyebrows almost touching each other.

_"I like reading Bleach, but because of you, now I'm much more aware of the things that they say or do. You're polluting my mind."_

But even though he's frowning right now, _he's still the sexiest man I've ever known, or see. (_But Grimmjow is much more sexier. _And that's a secret. _^_^)

Damn. I can't even imagine him falling in love with me. I mean, I'm kinda short, and ordinary, and my boobs are, well, let's face the truth. They're ALMOST not noticeable.

But, he did fell in love with me, and that's what's important.

_It's like a dream-come-true._

I pouted to what he just said. I opened my mouth to say something.

_"DON'T!"_

He exclaimed. That made me frown. He acts as if I was about to say something really awful.

_"I know what's inside your head right now Rukia Kuchiki. And I will NOT do it."_

My frowned deepened.

_"No! Those tricks will not work on me again!"_

_"Aww common Renj! You said it was good!"_

_"I SAID NO!"_

_"You were even moa-"_

_"NOOOO!"_

He covered his ears using both of his hands and turned his back on me.

_"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA~LAAA~LA~LAAAAA~LAAA~LA!"_

I sighed.

He's such a sexy stubborn man.

Well, that thought made me smile.

Sexy, stubborn man. Just like what I wanted.

I walked towards him and hugged him from behind.

I felt him stiffened. I grinned.

_"What are you doing?"_

I just hummed. I can feel the fear dripping from his question.

_Yes, be scared Renji. Be very scared, because I'm about to rock your world._

I started tracing his muscles using my fingertips. Drawing small circles on his abs as my hands descend s-l-o-w-l-y.

I heard him gasped.

I suppressed a moan.

_"Rukia…"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"I said no."_

I felt his iron grips grab my hands and freed himself. He turned and looked at me with a frown.

_"I allowed you to do that to me last time because you looked so miserable. If you really wanna stick yer' fingers inside someone's ass, go find a willing gay yourself."_

Then he went out of my room without even looking back.

_Sighs._

I was hoping that I would see my boyfriend pant under me again.

Too bad Renji learns so fast.

_Oh well._

I guess I'll just finish what I was reading a while ago.

…

**XXXoooXXX**

…

_Ahhh! Y-Yees! F-F-Fuck! Harder!_

Yes. I love it, hard.

_Fuck, Rukia, you want me to fuck you harder? You Bitch!_

_Y-Yees! P-Please! Please Renji! Uhh!_

I don't know, maybe reading too much yaoi transformed me into a very willing masochist.

_Grab my hair Renji! Ah! Y-Yes! Fuck, haardeer!_

See? And I love it from behind. I love it when he pound me from behind, _hard and fast._

*_slaps*_

_You fucking bithch!_

_Uhh! Yeess! I'm a b-bitch! _

It feels so good, when he's humiliating me like that.

But all that's good is bounded to end. And in this case, quite soon. This is where he's going to cum, and spoil my orgasm. One last hard thrust, then he's shudder. I know him so well.

_Fuck! Yer so good Rukia! Uggh!_

_Wha- don't stop! Shhh- WHAT THE HELL? You already came?_

_Uhh, yeah, sorry, you're so good baby.. Don' worry I, umm…_

_You know what? Forget about it. Urrgh._

_Hey! Where are you going?_

_SLEEP!_

Uggh. I hate that part. He would always cum before me. Right before I reach my peak.

It was like, all I need to do it take one more step, and let myself fall over, but he would fucking spoil it by pulling my leg back.

Damn.

…

**XXXOOOXXX**

…

I love masturbating.

And no one, not even Tatsuki knows about this "side-hobby" of mine.

_Chuckles_

Whenever Renji is not around, or even just freaking sleeping beside me, I masturbate. Especially when I just read something that made me feel very horny.

I thank god because he gave me a pair of very talented fingers.

_Laughs_

I got this pillow that's very special for me. I would put it on my bed, and I will sit down on top of it, and hump it. LOL.

Seriously, I used to do that a lot.

It even come up to the point where I won't be able to sleep without masturbating.

Ahh, those are the days. I really love that pillow.

Then I started experimenting, and I figured that using my fingers felt much better than humping that pillow. And like what I said, it felt super good.

I would read mangas, or fanfics, then after that, go to bed, and play the images inside my head as I touch myself.

Personally, I think it feels much better than sex with Renji.

_Laughs_

Don't tell this to Renji, he's going to seriously freak out.

He hates it when I touches myself. He said that it's making him feel like I don't need him, because I can pleasure myself, by myself.

Well technically, he is, telling the truth.

LOL

…

**XXXOOOXXX**

**…**

Sometimes I wonder why I was born as a girl.

When I was young, I really wished that I was a boy. I mean, monthly periods are annoying as hell. And being weak is, depressing.

That's when I started wishing that I was a _boy_.

I used to sneak in my brother's room to try out some of his clothes, looking at myself in front of the mirror and acting like a boy.

Yeah, something like that happened.

But then, after finding about my "new" hobby, (which concerns Yaoi for does who doesn't know) it made me wonder, do I really want to be a _boy?_ Or I want be to be a boy because I want to be _gay_?

Crazy right?

I can say tha,t now, I'm more open minded.

Every time I would see a couple of guys hanging out together, I can't help but let my imagination run wild.

My eyes would automatically look for some "signs" that they are not just "friends".

Guys usually thinks that us girls are naturally born flirts. That we like holding hands with others, and doing things together like going to toilets, and other physical "unneeded" contacts.

But the truth is, guys are much more physical-contact-whores compared to us.

All those rubbing of elbows (I mean it literally), the way they clung their arms around each other's shoulders, and other stuff that I don't know how to describe. I mean, you'll wonder why they're doing that, but still accusing us of being "clingy".

So the next time you see your boyfriend with his friends, try to read between the movements. _LOL._

Try to see if your boyfriend has the "potential".

**XXXOOOXXX**

**…**

Tatsuki is the one who told me that I should write down some of my ideas. Like I should look for some other people that has the same "hobby" as me.

And that's why I started this confession.

At first, I just wanted to share how I feel to others. Like wanting to feel that I'm not alone. Hell, you can even call it as _asking for sympathy, _I don't care.

This is me, and even though I admit that it is shameful and embarrassing, it's still a part of me, it's my personality, my character, my identity. And it will forever be a part of me.

Well, what else should I say?

Will somebody please tell me how to end this thing?

LOL

I think that's all for now.

I hope that you enjoyed reading about my confession.

Until next time!

~_Rukia Kuchiki_

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**Reviews please?**


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